Test Results Day
May, 2020
“We don’t know what this is, we really don’t, so at this point we are just throwing everything we can think of at you to fight back this illness.”
That’s what my infectious disease doctor told me back in early February when I was, in the words of Dylan’s song, “Knock, knock, knocking on heavens door...”
COVID-19 never really crossed my mind until more recently, through a combination of my own study of the disease, new findings about how early the disease arrived on our shores, and the numerous inquiries from friends and family on an almost daily basis as to whether or not I believed this was the culprit.
It has taken over my thinking.
From the moment I get up until the moment I go to bed, always somewhere in my brain I’m wondering what it was that almost killed me?
Was it COVID-19?
Or was it something else?
While in the hospital I was tested for flu, influenza, several other corona viruses and I assume a host of other diseases, all of which came back negative.
I’ve known antibody testing was the solution.
Two weeks ago my primary doctor called and said she wanted me and Lauren to be tested, but she was waiting for a test she believed to be more accurate than many of the others flooding the market.
Two weeks ago my primary doctor called and said she wanted me and Lauren to be tested, but she was waiting for a test she believed to be more accurate than many of the others flooding the market.
This past Wednesday we got word that they were ready, so Wednesday afternoon we went to the lab and did the deed.
We were told results would be ready within 24 to 48 hours.
For weeks now I’ve been convinced without a doubt that my early 2020 near death experience was COVID-19, so a positive antibody test result is what I expected.
For weeks now I’ve been convinced without a doubt that my early 2020 near death experience was COVID-19, so a positive antibody test result is what I expected.
After we got tested, I had a weird thought: are you ready to accept a negative result as well?
What then?
What then?
This morning the doctor called and as soon as I answered I knew what she was going to say.
“Well, I am shocked, but the test results have come back and both you and Lauren tested...negative.”
Negative.
Negative for COVID-19 antibodies.
A knock me over with a feather moment.
We spoke for a few minutes and she told me of several other patients she has seen who have tested positive but not as ill as I had been, nor with the full range of symptoms that I had.
Yay.
Lucky me.
Yay.
Lucky me.
She reminded me of how within two weeks of her seeing me and Lauren in her office, both she and her husband were sick for several days.
She was stunned at our results but she said, “As your doctor all I can tell you is what the results tell me. But my personal opinion is that you indeed had COVID-19, which is why these results make your disease even more confusing...”
The emailed results from the lab include a line saying, “Results from anti-body testing should not be used as the sole basis to diagnose or exclude infection...”
Research on these relatively infant stage tests continue to come out almost daily, so we may explore further testing down the road.
But today, for the first time in my life, I’m bummed about a negative test result.
Devastated almost.
Devastated almost.
The mystery remains, the feeling of vulnerability has only increased.
To quote John Lennon, “Nobody told me there’d be days like these...strange days indeed...”
No comments:
Post a Comment