Scattered Riffs and Sacred Lines

The Restless Wheel

In the preface to “Wilderness: The Lost Writings of Jim Morrison, Volume 1”, Morrison wrote this in reference to his work:

“Mosaic

a series of notes, prose-poems,

stories, bits of play & dialog

Aphorisms, epigrams, essays

Poems? Sure”

I’m an expressive person.

I need outlets for whatever limited creativity I possess that simmers inside, and these days my outlets are scarce.

At least the outlets I’ve relied on in recent years.

I can’t sing - it’s eerily reminiscent of an adolescent boy whose voice is changing; my speaking voice, for the brief period it’s present, has a quiet, Dylan-esque quality to it; and my guitar playing is, well, quirky at best.

So I started this blog.

It’s an outlet, it’s a healing vehicle for me, and, I hope, maybe a sliver of light for some of you during these days of chaos.

I’ve always leaned into writing.

Even when I made a living speaking and teaching, I wrote every word before I spoke.

Every word.

When I started this blog I knew I wouldn’t always only write about my health.

I mean, I’d like to maintain whatever readership I do have without prematurely slipping into an AARP cliche.

I have notebooks, folders, scraps of paper, napkins, and computer files filled with words, lyrics, phrases, poems, teachings, and fragments of thoughts from as far back as junior high.

I do like a lot of it, but a lot of it is just downright embarrassing, primitive, and painful to read.

Like this, for example, a preview of my lyrical brilliance from around age 13:

“Scoop up that egg yolk/with that delicious bread 

Your mother said to/else you’ll go to bed...”

There.

That’s one poetic skeleton freed up from the closet.

In between “Tales of the ‘Rona”, I’m going to start posting some other writings, “Scattered Riffs and Sacred Lines” that I very much hope you’ll enjoy.

The deal is I promise to keep the egg yolk scooping to a minimum.

“The Restless Wheel” became a song that I eventually used for a fundraiser for an organization called Waves for Water when Hurricane Sandy nailed the east coast in 2012.

I had no idea then how relevant the words would be to me so many years later, seeming to fit my own personal hurricane these days.

But the essence is universal.

Don’t bow to hurricanes.

The Restless Wheel

Been down for far too long 

shoved to the side, to the floor

Through the hardened heart of the crowd 

to the edges of the saddest, saddest song

Road ahead looks dark, looks wild 

shadows chase my dreams at night

Voices whisper “give up the fight” 

voices cry “you’re lost, you’re killing time”

But I won’t give up

And I, I won’t kneel

And I won’t give in

To the restless wheel

Devils’ in this sacred space

face down in the driving rain

Chasing angels you pay a price

faith gets lost in the sacrifice 

Was a time I thought I knew

what love and pain and grace could do

But how this heart it fails you

how this life can harden and derail you

But I won’t give up

And I, I won’t kneel

And I won’t give in

To the restless wheel

- cwa, 2012